I feel behind all the time. In my finances. In my personal development. In my life as a 30 year old. I feel like I smell all the time, even if I shower twice a day. I know I don’t but that’s how my life feels.

My life feels like it has an unpleasant odor. This smell could be emanating from the deep crevices of my mind, behind my ear, in my belly button, between my toes, or from my preauricular pit (which not everyone has, so don’t worry).

I don’t have a car but I’m grateful I have my own apartment.

I don’t have a savings but I’m grateful I have a job that helps pay for everything.

I don’t have a boyfriend but I have friends and I’m slowly building a life that I want.

I don’t have the clean time in my recovery that I feel like I should have but clean time doesn’t equal recovery, and it’s taken this long to get where I’m at.

All in all, I feel like I need to rush everything, but I know I can’t. I’m right where I need to be. I’m doing everything I can, and trying to make myself do more will only stress me out.

Finding gratitude when I feel stuck helps me untangle the chaos I’ve created in my mind.

I feel a little better now.