I’ve typed and erased so many sentences.I’ve typed. I’ve erased.There were even two full paragraphs — gone. What I have to say doesn’t feel like it means anything. Maybe that’s why I keep deleting it. But isn’t that what writing is sometimes? A conversation between the parts of myself that want to be seen and … Continue reading Welp, here we are.
diary
I feel like a fraud
Happy fourth...? I don't even know, dude. I don't really remember the last thing I posted on here. I guess I could take a look but I don't want to because then I would squirm in my own skin. I relapsed. I still want to use. Right now, I'm not using. Right now I'm clean … Continue reading I feel like a fraud
A Letter To My Younger Self
As I close my eyes, I’m picturing a little curly-haired boy with skin the color of coffee after putting four creamers and four sugars. Smile wide with baby gaps in his teeth. Dimples deep enough that it made the top of his cheeks puff out like a balloon. I don’t know the age, but I … Continue reading A Letter To My Younger Self
Changes and Gratitude
I feel behind all the time. In my finances. In my personal development. In my life as a 30 year old. I feel like I smell all the time, even if I shower twice a day. I know I don’t but that’s how my life feels. My life feels like it has an unpleasant odor. … Continue reading Changes and Gratitude
perfection is an illusion
Ever since I started Intense Outpatient Treatment for my substance abuse, I was really trying to figure out the root cause of my relapses. This wasn't the first time I went to treatment or put myself through rigorous efforts to try and fix the inside of me that was broken. I started the first … Continue reading perfection is an illusion
Confessions of a Compulsive Liar. 