You called me on my birthday and then decided not to leave a voicemail? What was even the point of calling me?

And I know you only called because Aleena told you to, since I was crying.

You know, I thought I could let go of all the things you did to me as a child, but it turns out everything still hurts and haunts me to this day. Whenever something good happens, I still feel like a fucking kid looking for their dad.

You never loved me.

You only wanted the ego boost of “saving” me from Alma.

Do you know how much it hurts to know that you ONLY called me last year so that I could come to YOUR wedding? You didn’t call to see how I was doing. You didn’t call to tell me your day was going well. You just wanted me to go to your wedding.

I HAAAATEEEE that I still feel this way.

All I ever wanted was a fucking apology for getting a slap in the face over the dirty little secret you told me to keep when I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

All I wanted was for my dad to be proud of me, even though I fucking hated sports.

All those mean names you called me as a child. I bet you still don’t know that I walk around carrying those wounds.

You calling me “pervert.”

You calling me a “fag.”

Instead of trying to support me, you kicked me out the moment I turned 18, and NOT ONCE did you ever apologize for that.

I’m fucking 32 now, and for some reason, I still feel like a little kid begging and crying for their father to just love them and be there for them.

Why can’t I move on from this?

I hate myself for STILL FUCKING FEELING THIS WAY.

I HATE YOU FOR NEVER TAKING FULL ACCOUNTABILITY.